Taking the Risk
by Lazeny
Summary: ShikaTema. How Shikamaru admitted to Temari his true feelings.**characters not mine, borrowing from masashi kishimoto**
1. Chapter 1

It was stupid, he knew he couldn't take back his words, why would he? What he told her was the truth. He's in love with her. That troublesome woman.

He planned it so well but it's just really really stupid. He plans things carefully, going over and over until its perfectly choreographed, formulating alternatives and have at least 20 backups just in case.

But he's such an absolute IDIOT that he did not follow his own plan.

Since she became the Suna ambassador for the Chuunin exams, he was tasked to be her guide. Although she could have gone anywhere on her own, since she already knew the streets of Konoha, he still insisted on walking her home. It had became their routine. Sometimes, they would meet each other outside the Hokage's building and would walk toward their office together. Sometimes he would wait for her at the office, particularly if the Hokage summoned him for some errands or something. Sometimes, she would be the one waiting for him at the office, already hip deep in paperwork.

So troublesome.

Chouji knew of his feelings, he didn't have to admit it to him, he's his best friend after all. And also Ino, God help him, albeit their friends for a long time, she only knew of it because of Chouji. Both of them encouraged him to admit his feelings toward the troublesome woman. They said he should take the risk. Both of them are shinobi, and both are just, essentially, living on borrowed time. They told him that he might regret not telling her at all. Any mission shinobi undertake might be their last. He knew that too well.

He understood that of course. Not that his planning to "never" admit it to her. He was just not ready, yet. Well, not really "not" ready. He just hasn't thought of a way to properly tell her without him ending up in a concussion. Which basically means, he wasn't ready.

And so he thought. This day, 3 Chuunin exams later, he will finally tell her his true feelings. And had formulated a plan that would give him success.

They were walking towards her apartment. A few hours before she was talking with Shino, he didn't' really understand why or what could they possibly talk about, but her followed her and stuck to her side. When she finally decided to come home, he walked with her. He didn't really have to, she said, but this was a part of his plan. He knew Chouji would be on standby, waiting on the dango shop with Ino, which is actually just around the corner from her apartment.

He knew that Chouji knew that he will finally admit his feelings toward Temari, maybe his friend thought he needed their support just in case Temari rejected him. Or possibly murder him.

"Oi Temari." This is now or never.

"Huh?"

"I have something to say to you." He has this funny feeling in his stomach. His hands are clammy.

"What is it?" She stared at Shikamaru, concerned. He's been acting strange lately. Right now his fidgeting.

"I've got something to say. Don't you dare say anything okay?" He glared at her. His teeth started chattering. He didn't know if its from fear, frustration at himself, or some emotion that he couldn't name. "And don't you dare laugh or I swear to God..." he trailed off, leaving the threat hanging.

Temari was surprised, she knew that on rare occasions, Shikamaru can get riled up so high. And he seemed nervous. Curious, she said. "Okay, what is it you want to tell me?"

She stood still, staring at him, waiting for his response. Willing herself not to be impatient. She couldn't understand why but Shikamaru couldn't really look at her directly, he's pacing around her, putting his hands on his pockets, scratching his face. Dragging his hand on his hair. And as she listened closely, it suspiciously sounded like teeth chattering.

She started to get this funny feeling in her stomach. Anticipation and anxiety. She was afraid she knew what he wanted to say...

"Just don't speak!" Shikamaru growled...still pacing.

Temari remained silent. Unusually patient. Waiting for him to talk.

After a long 5 minutes... he stopped pacing suddenly. He was standing behind her.

And he said softly...

"I'm in love with you Temari..."

She froze, unable to speak.

Then Shikamaru, the moron, left abruptly, walking fast, not looking at where he was going. And crashed to an unsuspecting loud blond idiot who was rushing towards Ichiraku's.

Dumbfounded, Temari was left standing in the front of her apartment building. Staring at him as he struggled to free his limbs from the idiot shinobi. As soon as he's free he stood up, and rushed on the opposite direction. Not looking back.

"What the hell...?"

Temari blew a breath, she didn't realize she was holding it until she had to breathe.

Then a small sweet smile crept up to her face.

Later, much much later, when she finds Shikamaru, she will tell him exactly what she feels.

"The idiot!"

xOxO

_The next day..._

He knew he was a coward, a number one coward. But he had it all planned! As soon as he admit how he felt, he would stand with her, or invite himself inside her apartment, his favorite rooftop, or his favorite grassy hill, even at the dango shop. But what did he do?! As soon as he uttered the words he left as if his pants was on fire!

He groaned, and threw himself down on his favorite rooftop, frustrated at himself. The beautiful clouds not calming him. His face still red from embarrassment. He had planned on telling Temari how he felt, explaining himself, the circumstances. But instead he escaped!

Damn! So troublesome.

--

_A/N_

_Thanks for R & R guys!_


	2. Chapter 2

It was early in the morning, the sun not yet too high as to bother him with the heat. Shikamaru was lying on his favorite rooftop, hands pillowing his head, staring at the clouds. There were more blue that white, and he couldn't really relax.

He wasn't able to sleep last night, he just kept tossing and turning, kept staring at his ceiling, at his alarm clock. Scenes from yesterday playing in his head. And finally, sick of himself, he got up and went to the training grounds. He trained until dawn, he wanted to tire himself out, sweat out all the tension from his body. His mother had nagged him to no end as soon as he got back to his house, he ate because his body needed fuel, and he took a shower because he was dirty. He usually tunes his mother out when she's in one of her moods, but he tried listening to her incessant nagging earlier that day, because that might help, although he didn't understand how. He ended up with a headache instead.

He's still trying though, that's why he was lying at his favorite rooftop, staring at nothing, willing himself to relax. He wanted to rest. And it frustrated him because sleep eluded him. And all because of that troublesome woman. She turned him into a blubbering idiot.

* * *

He remembered the first day he saw her. At the written preliminary test of his first Chuunin exam. He noticed that she was quite out of place, sitting amongst the harsh looking genins. But she had that look of arrogance, and confidence. As if she knew she could take all this low level ninja's by just a flick of her wrist.

Even from a distance, he had found her rather lovely.

But he ignored that rather irritating click in his brain. And focused instead on the approaching Team 7.

The next time he saw her was the preliminaries of the 3rd test. If someone had watched him closely, they would realize that his eyes, were always straining toward the Suna kunoichi. Such as it was, Chouji was the only person who noticed it.

When its her turn to battle Tenten, he had predicted that Suna would win. He hadn't known what skills the girl has, and had never seen her techniques, his prediction had stemmed more from actually wishing that she win. He had nothing against Tenten. One would think he would be loyal to his fellow genin, albeit different teams. Instead he voiced that the Suna kunoichi would win that match, even if it irritated some of his friends. Chouji, bless him, had taken his side.

He didn't cared to contemplate why though, there were more troublesome things that needed his attention.

His eyes were glued to the match. Or more accurately, glued to her. He wanted to see her in combat. And a short while later, after seeing Tenten, her back almost breaking, and Lee, almost breaking his leg, it was quite troublesome to realize that she is indeed arrogant, very cold, and very cruel. But very very strong. And scary.

Both of them qualified for the 3rd exam. But not without trying on his part. The only reason he had won is because he didn't want to lose to a girl. And he was loathe to use his fists on one even if its an enemy. He's a man after all. And that's the reason why he won in such an interesting way.

It bothered him that she's in his bracket. If he was lucky, or unlucky, he would have to fight her. He didn't relish the idea at all, even wishing that he shouldn't have qualified for the 3rd exam. Earning him lectures from Asuma, Ino and Sakura.

On the day of the 3rd exam. He found out that he would be fighting her for the first match instead of the Sound ninja. He really wanted to forfeit that match. And he really, really wanted to avoid fighting her. Not because he's a coward, not because he didn't want to lose to a girl, not because its troublesome. But because he didn't want to hurt her.

It would have been easy really, even if she uses brute force, he could have easily defeated her if he wanted to. Contrary to what Asuma believed, he didn't stuck his thinking pose because he was stumped at a move, and thinking of a strategy, on how to defeat the Suna kunoichi. Every time he enters a battle he already has a plan formulated.

He HAD to stop and think on how to defeat her without inflicting physical pain.

He had planned on losing to the Sound ninja before this match, so that he could avoid fighting her. In all honesty, he didn't really want to become a chuunin, so that's not a problem. But the Sound ninja didn't show up, Kankuro, her brother, forfeited his match, making Shino sulk, that idiot Sasuke had had to be late, and his more idiot of a teammate had to push him towards the stage.

"What? Are you going to forfeit too?" Temari smirked.

With no way out, he decided to give it to her. He can't lose to a girl after all, but he didn't want to hurt her either.

Although it seemed to everyone else that he was driven to a corner, the battle was his, and it was moving on his pace. He dragged it out as much as he could, manipulating her. Reading her every move and every reaction. Letting her think that she has the upper hand.

He was actually grateful to Kankuro that he warned her about the parachute. That was more time with Temari on the battle field.

He noticed a number of things during that match. Temari, was not a patient person. He irritated her enough by not doing anything at all. Making her whip up her slicing winds one after another.

Temari was a good strategist, reading his moves very well. She quickly understood the limitations of his technique. And tried to work around it. Unfortunately for her, He was a better strategist.

Temari didn't like to lose. When he finally caught her, she had this stunned look on her face. Unable to believe that someone like him could easily manipulate her. When she realized that she was about to be defeated, she still fought him, closing her eyes, gritting her teeth and resisting his movement.

Temari is incredibly beautiful. When he forfeited his match, he saw a more stunned face, if that was even possible. It was true that he was running low on chakra, but she's already in his grip. It was child's play for him to make her lose consciousness. Everybody in the stadium knows that he already won that match. But he just had to let her win. He did not want to insult Temari, so he explained why he had to forfeit, and most of them bought it.

He was proud, if he said so himself. As Temari was looking at him with disbelief, grudging admiration and a dollop of apprehension. He didn't mind at all. Perhaps it was his odd way of letting her know that he will never lose to her.

Temari found him sleeping on his favorite rooftop. She was a little disappointed that he wasn't waiting for her at her apartment. It was still early she knew, but Shikamaru would always be waiting for her outside, no matter what time it is. Its as if he has a radar or something when it comes to her.

Shikamaru slept on his back, one arm splayed to side, the other resting on his stomach. He looked peaceful in his sleep, younger, and somehow vulnerable.

His looks had changed over the years, he's taller now. He's still lanky, but she knew that those arms and chest of his are beautifully muscled. He's physically stronger than her now, she admitted to herself. And she knew, that even if she's one of the strongest kunoichi in their generation, she would never be able to defeat him.

She sat with him for a while, loathe to disturb him. Normally she would jostle him awake when he fell asleep, just to annoy him. But he looked so peaceful, and they were bags under his eyes.

He was probably unable to sleep. Because of what happened yesterday. Temari thought. Well, she couldn't sleep either.

After a few more minutes, she felt him move.

"How long have you been here?"

"A while..."

Shikamaru sat, not looking at her, and careful not to touch her.

"You should have woken me up."

"No, it's fine, you looked like you needed it."

"Hmmm. Yeah. I couldn't sleep last night. How troublesome."

"Me too..."

Shikamaru finally looked at her. Temari was staring up at the sky, her back leaned, arms supporting her.

"You look completely alert for someone who couldn't sleep." Shikamaru teased. Trying to lightened the mood.

"How long?"

Shikamaru didn't deny that he understood her question. He sighed.

How troublesome.

"I don't know. I didn't want you when I first met you. And I'm pretty sure you want to brutally beat me when we first met face to face..."

"You're right." she murmured.

"I guess it just happened..." Shikamaru trailed of.

Temari was staring at him now, her face unreadable.

He sighed. "It might have been when we first fought. It might have been when you rescued me. It might have been when you were with me at that hospital room. But the first time I saw you, I looked at you. And the first time you fought, I watched you. And the first chance I got, I wanted to rescue you, even though I knew, you of all people do not need to be rescued." Shikamaru said. Strangely, he's not nervous.

"I knew I wanted you. Being assigned as you guide was part godsend and troublesome really. I wanted to be with you, and at the same time, I didn't want to be near you. I could have refused the mission, but every time I think of another person as your guide while you're here in Konoha makes me want to... I don't know, punch something." he smiled for the first time. "At first I thought it was just hormones, you know."

Temari raised her eyebrow.

"You are incredibly beautiful..." Shikamaru murmured.

"Is that why you love me?"

"No."

"Then why?"

"Because you're troublesome?"

Temari laughed. Shikamaru was oddly open, unlike his disposition yesterday.

"I'm sorry I said that in such a way yesterday. I wasn't really planning on leaving you that way."

"It's okay." she said.

Both of them resumed the silence, both staring at the clouds. Contemplating about what had been said.

Suddenly, Temari reached out for his hand, and held it between hers. Shikamaru just looked at her, and everything that had been said, was in his eyes.

And everything he wanted to know, was reflected in hers. He didn't need to hear the words, he knew.

"Do you think this will work?"

"It should, if we want it to."

"We're from different villages. I'm the sister of the Kazekage, you're a valuable asset to Konoha, even if were allies, a lot of them will object."

"I realized that. But I'd rather take the risk than not know. Temari, I'd rather try than let it be. Who knows what could happen? I'd rather tell you I love you today, and die on a mission tomorrow, than keep this inside me, and regret it for the rest of my life." His hand was curled to her fingers now, holding tight.

"If this will never work in the end, at least we both tried, at least we could be happy together, even if its just a couple of weeks in a year, even if its just a couple of days. I'll take that, even if its so little." Shikamaru rushed, as he wiped the tears on her face. "Will you accept it? Temari?"

"Aren't you afraid?"

"I am, everyday. Everyday I think about you, and the possibility that I might not see you again. At the possibility you take a mission and not come out of it alive. At the possibility I might not come out alive from a mission, with the knowledge that you will never know how I feel. I'm afraid of a lot of things Temari, but I'm not afraid of telling you how much I love you, and for you not to return it. Not anymore." Shikamaru said, as he placed Temari in his lap.

"I am, Shikamaru, I am." she hiccuped.

"I know, but you shouldn't be. It's not just you. It's both of us."

Her face was buried in his neck, he felt her tears running down his skin. He kissed her temple, her hair. His hand stroking her back. He let her cry. He didn't expect her to cry when he finally laid his heart on her feet. But he just remained silent. Waiting.

She felt right in his arms. Like she belonged there. Like their bodies were meshed and made for each other, and he thought to himself. _"So this is how it feels..."_

"I'm sorry I cried." Temari sighed, when her tears ran dry. "You overwhelm me Shikamaru, with your words, your deeds. I didn't have to ask you why, or test you out." she stroked his cheek. "You really do love me, don't you?" Temari smiled.

"I do." Shikamaru grinned.

"You were funny yesterday." Temari grinned at him.

"Glad to entertain you, troublesome woman." Shikamaru laughed. His Temari was back to normal.

"I was about to whack you with my fan, all that pacing and muttering. I was very patient, I think I broke my record. " she giggled.

Shikamaru leaned his forehead into hers. "You turn me into a blubbering moron sometimes, troublesome woman."

"I know, and you can turn me into a blubbering crybaby, Crybaby." Temari leaned more, to touch her lips to his.

"I love you Shikamaru." she murmured quietly on his lips.

"I love you too, Temari." and with that, he closed his eyes, and enjoyed their first kiss.

_A/N_

_I kind of diverted the story into a more serious tone, a bit OOC. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you very much for the reviews. Especially from neko-spy-7 and ShikaTema.rox.like.hell_


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